1. |
Activity Center
04:12
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lyrics:
Let's start
Let's start over
Wash every lie we've ever told away
Conflicting -- which parts are true?
Well, every story's true in some parts
(Even the lies?)
Yeah!
Let's drive
Let's just dump it
We'll leave our younger selves dead on the street
I'm dead
I died already
There's so much here
There's things to do
I want to click on all that stuff
I fall in love at just a single touch
Why don't you throw yourself in
Let's watch it all blow up
Let's get to the center
The center of it all
Let's get to the center
Of who we really are
--------------------
I'll hold you tighter
I'll kiss you more
I'll make more funny faces in the mirror
I'll dress up however I want
I'm not afraid of anything, not even getting shot
Pick me up
And get real rowdy
I'll listen when you tell me to shut up
I cry often
I cry so loud
I cry when you look at me
And when I see myself
I should've killed myself last summer
There's always next time
It's a gift with my name on it
(Alright, just a peek)
Let's take a look at what's inside
Let's get to the center
The center of it all
Let's get to the center
Of who we really are
(Let's start over)
Let's get to the center
(Let's start over, let's start over)
The center of it all, ah
(Let's start over, let's start over)
Let's get to the center, oh
(Let's start over, let's start over)
Of what we really are
(Let's start over, let's start over)
Yeah, let's start over
(Let's start over, let's start over)
Let's start over
(Let's start over, let's start over)
Let's start over, oh
(Let's start over, let's start over)
Let's start over, ah, ah, ah
(Let's start over)
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2. |
Water Wings (feat. fig)
05:14
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lyrics:
You keep me watered
Just keep me watered til you're gone
I'm still around
I just don't know for how long
I get it
Really I do
I understand you
Have some doubts about me
How tight can I ask to be held
Why is there no tension in my rope
When you get home
When you get home
When you get home
When you get home
When... you... get...
...
[verse: fig]
You keep me watered
Keep me like a well-worn stone
I've never let my animations be shown
I hid in church pews and classrooms
Reading books to hope my body learns
The things my mind already knows
I can't get these limbs to grow
I can feel the hint of something
Terracota past my toes
I am watching it pass by
The gray fog tearing up the sky
Duplicitous and volatile
Numinous and numerous
Our lives
Our debilitating lows and subtle highs
Why, why
...
You keep me watered
Just keep me watered til I die
I won't be bothered
When you forget me, I'll get dry
Oh, I'll be crushed
But really I'll know
That this body is not really home
I'm just a visitor here
I am on the cusp of something
Tearing at the fabric of it all
When you get home
When you get home
When you get home
When you get home
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3. |
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I'm the one who gets away
Guess I never knew you till today
You got so caught up in your little game
That's not my problem
I've been down this road before
I've seen bodies lining buildings
Bodies halfway through the floor
And we both know how hard you can fall
Show me your pessimism
Oh, wouldn't you like to know
I am immune to you now
Wouldn't you like to know
It's a war
On the scale of which you've never seen before
The granite walls that hold me here are gone
All gone
It's all gone
Where's it all gone
Whenever I can't sleep
I just pass out on the floor
Sometimes my medication hits me all at once
Sometimes you cross my mind and I'm gone
When I wake up here, I don't know where I am
I am the wet spot
I am the flashback
I am a painting of a bird in your waiting room
Play spot-the-difference with abuse and what's just fine
I'm a painting of a bird
I am a painting of a bird
I am a painting of a bird
I am a painting of a bird
Wouldn't you like to know
How to get under my skin
Wouldn't you like to know
I'm really not afraid
Finally I've got something that I can call mine
I am not gonna let you take this away
I am a feral great swine
Don't tell me what it's called
Never name something that you couldn't learn to love
The wild turkeys brim with a cruel, knowing grin
I hope you try to scratch me out
I hope it's never enough
Wouldn't you like to know
I am immune to you now
Wouldn't you like to know
Wouldn't you like to know
I will ascend despite you
Wouldn't you like to know
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4. |
Mirror Scene
04:34
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Well, the clock just starts right over
And the walls come closing in
And the bathroom dips and then twirls and your eyes get sunken
In so, deeply, you can't recognize the face you
See so, easily,
No one gets back home tonight
And it's all the German angles
Expressionist and raw
And it's all just crooked lines and
Straight shots right into the stage lights
You are, scarcely
Noticing the cracks in the corners
You are completely
Oblivious to what's reaching for you
I dreamt I killed the captain
And I commandeered the helm
There's no reflection when the
The serpent eats itself
Something beyond imagination
Bloody Mary runs
My self is staring back and laughing
My god, what have I done?
I'll die before everyone I hoped to outlive
Fall back to everything I thought I could outrun
No one's unscathed after a mirror scene
Somebody's covered in blood
Somebody's covered in blood
Well, dark circles grow and fester
And your jaw unhinges wide
And the last few glints in your eye just die
You're locking in your
Tragic
Fate as though you're destined to be
Standing, facing
The camera when you meet your maker
And, oh, those German angles
All crooked, fucked and raw
Black feathers, bells and church choirs
This imagery just
Seeping, bursting, seeping
Blowing through the windows, it's a
Warm wind
In dark clothing
Signaling a drawing curtain
Ah, ah
Hell is not a moment
It's a sound that someone makes when they're afraid
The sound of stillness
The sound of breathing in a closed-off space
All my fucking hubris
How I thought that I could somehow find escape
It's not unlikely
That I get strangled by a sound effect
Yeah, all the action happens off screen
Well, the clock just starts right over
And the walls come closing in
And the bathroom dips and then twirls and your eyes get sunken
In so, deeply, you can't recognize the face you
See so, easily,
No one gets back home tonight
And it's all the German angles
Expressionist and raw
And it's all just crooked lines and
Straight shots right into the stage lights
You are, scarcely
Noticing the cracks in the corners
You are completely
Oblivious to what's reaching for you
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5. |
Stage Dive
04:12
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I'm pacing backstage eager for my entrance
Tapping my feet a bit
Rushing through the monologue
Every morning's my big scene
My stage all watched and clean
Yeah
I'm grateful for the time we spend together
And even the time apart
I'm napping at the starting line
Everything I need is coming somewhere down the line
The anticipation lifts me up, so sweet
Feel it washing over me as I'm bathed in light
Bathed in light
(Ooh, in the light, in the light, in the light)
You're stunning
You look so cool
(Ooh, in the light, in the light, in the light)
I'm happy
See what tomorrow brings
Every time you've told me that you love me
Playing in stereo
All at once, cacophony
I don't need to win awards
I just hope you hit record
I don't need to prove myself to no one
I won't explain myself
I will not apologize
I did not write this story
But I still believe my lines
Ruining everything
Making a mockery
I'm going rogue and off-book
Every rule I gave myself turned out to all be crap
Imminently self-actualizing, can you picture that?
Picture that!
(Ooh, in the light, in the light, in the light)
You're stunning
You look so cool
(Ooh, in the light, in the light, in the light)
I'm happy
See what tomorrow brings
You're stunning, you're stunning, you're stunning
You look so cool, you look so cool, you look so cool
Cool!
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6. |
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Just wait for something to happen
Director to call action
Nobody calls action
Piss inside a glass case,
Wouldn't it be nice?
Surrounded by numbers
Words I use for others
Trapped in a distraction
Nobody calls action
Gone in seconds flat
When I start yelling
Find a safe place to take cover
Get low
If all of this bears any importance,
I wouldn't know
But you'll be scared of me
You'll be scared of me when I explode
When I open my heart up
Just behind the sawdust
Columns, rows, and boxes
Checkmark under batshit
Gone in seconds flat
Some disturbed by voices
Others by strange noises
Nobody calls action
I'll be gone in seconds flat
Wouldn't it be nice?
When I explode
Water bursting out my face and down my nose
Oh, if this was an altar
It's to the wonderful time before had died
And the shadows I see when I open my eyes
And to the ghosts that live, living on in my mind
I loved you back them
I love you more now
But turn away sprinting
Cause you'll be scared of me
You'll be scared of me when I explode
Songs I sing to myself turn sour
I am lonely when I'm in a crowd
I feel I'm being stepped on
Wouldn't it be nice?
Ahh~
I'm bleeding and it's perfect
I just can't explain it
Gone in seconds flat
I explode
I explode
I explode
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7. |
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It's me in a black dress, my bulging shoulders
There's more to it just than dysphoria, it's
Ah, ah, simple as I wasn't built that way
Love me as hard I know you can
Til my knees are weak and I can barely stand
I'm following footsteps that look like mine
I'm fitting so perfectly every time
Ah, ah, I'm breaching the other side
Love me as hard as I know you can
(Hard)
That look in your eyes
Like people on fire
Every touch is an act of vengeance
Weaving part of a grand design
The gears of it whine
The mechanisms of chaos
Sowing seeds of a fruitful harvest
Everyone needs to be needed sometimes
I understand why
I needed to see both sides
Ghostly sons of unknowing parents
Daughters now of the great divine
So kill us, or try
Tell me how bad you want it
Tug your leash like a helpless creature
Be reborn if you want
Just be her
It's me in a black dress, my bulging shoulders
There's more to it just than dysphoria, it's
Ah, ah, simple as I wasn't built that way
Love me as hard I know you can
Til my knees are weak and I can barely stand
I'm following footsteps that look like mine
I'm fitting so perfectly every time
Ah, ah, I'm breaching the other side
Love me so hard I could fucking cry
Like a firework in a starless sky
Bodies like silk
Drug through the filth
Dirty and laughing and stuffed fill of pills
I am obsessed with the details of you
No picture captures it
Feel kind of bad for the people who will not see you as I do
We are the blessed, celestial few
I can imagine a future with you
I can imagine a future
I want your love and I want your touch
I want the comfort from the heat of your skin
I want to begin anew and again
Love me hard
Love me harder
Love me hard
Love me harder
I'm following footsteps that look like mine
I'm fitting so perfectly every time
Ah, ah, I'm breaching the other side
Love me so hard I could fucking cry
Like a firework in a starless sky
Love me hard
Love me harder
Love me hard
Love me harder
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8. |
Demo Disc
04:14
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On every page of my diary
I don't recognize what I read
Telling myself a lot: "That's me!"
But I can't force myself to see
My life til now was just a demo
Now it's time to step into the studio
Few dare tread where I will go
Burn it all, leave it to burn
Burn my demo disc
Throw every memory you hold away
Cherished and painful things, all the same
All the power they hold over you
It's gone... Huh, that's new
I am a construct you imagined
An abstract painting of a rabbit
Who's that person in your head
That you pictured when you heard my voice
On my demo disc
You exist there too, right there
In the memories of who hurt you
Take up space in somebody's head
Delete old pics off the internet
Conceptually, "you", and "you" is in quotes,
You're reflections of the images that people have of you
I want you to know
I tried my best
To live my life
With no regrets
Woke up one day
A brand new body
It wasn't me
I wasn't dreaming
I am alive
I live like this
I am okay
I don't exist
There's nothing here
I am a void
I have no soul
I am a toy
I am in your head
I am in your head
I'm in your head
I am a goddess you can see through
I am the voice on your cassette tapes
I am the "me" who lived ten years ago
I am a homeless nineteen-year-old again
In your head, in your head
What gives you the right to hold me
To tell me who you think I am
You never understood my music
It's not for you to understand
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